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Alone ... In A Sea Of People

Big City Travel

sunny 86 °F

What is about a big city that makes you feel so alone?

I have been in Buenos Aires for 2 weeks, walking the streets, watching beautiful people wear beautiful clothes, shoes, make up.
The feeling is strange, a touch of heaviness, a touch of dread, all mixed with the thankfulness for having such wonderful big cities.

There are people everywhere.

And as I walk, I can´t help but become unsettlingly aware that they are walking in pairs, and I am not.
It is as if I am back in high school and all the popular kids are sitting together sharing their lunch at a noisy, happy table, and I have to stare down at my tray, picking around the healthy diet options.

Is the feeling internal or borne out of the odd looks people give you when you ask for a table for one?

I tell myself, in a city, people have their rhythm, time is squeezed tight, making people rush to fulfill their set out routines, without much room left to welcome a transitory stranger.
I understand that my continued solitariness is not a reflection of my lack of socialness and there is no big ugly pimple on my nose to deter strangers from proposing to hang out.
But, I can´t help but become very aware of my aloneness and wonder if I belong, if I am one of them, one of those happy, laughing rowdy groups as I read my book over a grilled trout with baked potatoes a la provincial.

There is no such dilemmas in smaller places. The mountains make our own smallness too obvious, and the awe of the beauty of nature makes bonding simple, natural.
In the nature, we come there to witness it, to be part of it, to join the beautiful flow.
But in the city...
In the city, the communications become more narcissistic, needing to fulfill, to confirm some part in us that bring out our insecurity and make us feel vulnerable, open, easily pushed away.

But I am happy to have the city.
I bought a dress, and a sexy t-shirt, and I like wearing them, noticing approving looks of strangers.
I like drinking good coffee out of pretty cups and seeing lights and bustling, and the ornate rows of buildings.

And I also remind myself that I have a big city, where I have my group of happy rowdy friends, with whom I can share tasty bottles of wine.
My, something about that word is just so good to say.

Posted by Ritka2 05:45 Archived in Argentina Tagged travel city lonely buenos aires alone journey solo

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so poignant, so beautiful.

and yes my love, you have many many rowdy friends who cannot wait to hug and kiss you and make you feel like the Prom Queen we all love.

don't let Argentina make you forget your colorful butterfly wings!! ;-)

by Inka Pinka

Remember the conversation we had before you left, how I said that I love cities, and you said you loved mountains…how I couldn't imagine myself alone in a mountain and that is all you wanted to do...I guess we all have our hills to climb, some do it busy streets, some do it in nature filled pastures...But as someone once said “wherever we go, there we are!”

Carpe Diem!

by Elsa

People in the city are in a herd mentaility. Everyone feels like they should be with someone else at every moment because if they are not, the rest of the city will think less of them. On the plus side, they are very connected and as soon as you make one friend, you will almost immediately have 10. And this usually happens as soon as you become content and comfortable being alone.

by Julian

I often feel the same when traveling, this strange feeling of wanting to be on my own and in the same time missing the good time spent with friends.
But I never saw that feeling so nicely put into words, once again it was a pleasure to read you !
Anyway one of the main gains of traveling is to accept one's aloneness and make profit of it. Enjoy it !

by Nico

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